What’s In A Name?

Photo by Vera Arsic from Pexels

“Darling, I suffer. I am trying my best. Please help me.” Thich Nhat Hanh

I was listening to a short video the other day… when I workout in the mornings, I headphone YouTube and listen to any number of teachers. It’s my treat to me for getting on the tready. I came across one teacher in particular who shook me to the core. So moved was I that I literally had to get off the treadmill and sit on the floor. The emotional processing was excruciatingly deep and my body was freaking out from the energetic download of this tiny monk’s holy-shit-truth. It took my breath away… and then filled me past the brim to overflowing with so much Love.

So.

Much.

Love.

“Darling, I suffer. I am trying my best. Please help me.” Thich Nhat Hanh

As I crawl into the last week of 2020, I have been spending time pondering the good, the bad, and the ugly of the year… for the purpose of gleaning lessons, growing wiser, maturing, evolving, and ultimately sharing these nuggets as energetic downloads with the Community in which I thrive. A particular tidbit which has moved me deeply is this precious monk’s perspective on COMMUNICATION within a difficult relationship.

Who among us has been hurt by another’s remark or action? Who among us has been on the receiving end of another’s bad day, bad week, bad life? And, honest to goodness, who among us has been the giver of a hurtful remark or action? If we were being honest, who among us has been the holder of low vibes which have severely harmed those around us?

I’ll start. Me. I’ve experienced both the giving and receiving of harsh behavior. #alwayslearning #beenknowntofuckup

“Darling, I suffer. I am trying my best. Please help me.” Thich Nhat Hanh

Just so quietly, Thich Nhat Hanh taught me. He opened my heart – which I’d thought was already wide open – yes, opened my mind and heart to Truth. When we have been hurt, perhaps an effective mode of spanning the gap between us is to COMMUNICATE simply, authentically, with big grace. 

“Darling, I suffer. I am trying my best. Please help me.” Thich Nhat Hanh

From our hurt place deep within, it is understandable that we lash out. “How dare you!” We spew. “You piece of dirt!” We grind our teeth. “Just you wait!” Or we say nothing. But, oh yes, we stew. We carry hate, resentment, bitterness, confusion. And, if you’re like me, you don’t even realize you’re carrying such a heavy backpack of anger. You think you’ve forgiven and gotten past it all… but wait, where’s all this depression and overeating coming from? Hmmmmm.

What if I were to tell you that Thich Nhat Hanh envisioned a very different world? One in which the hurting party would go to the offender and gently offer connection. Maybe not resolution, but at least a niggle of communication. A start. A non-accusatory beginning.

“Darling, I suffer. I am trying my best. Please help me.” Thich Nhat Hanh

(Gah, it’s damn daring, isn’t it? To put yourself out there, in all your naked truth, your vulnerable heartache. It could blow up. You could continue to be aching, unheard, unjustified. You could be laughed at, beaten down, humiliated. Absolutely damn possible.

“Darling.”

This first word is what snagged me immediately. “Darling.” My heart skips a beat even now as I type it. “Darling.” What is it about this word that feels soft? Approachable? Open? Curious? Tender? There is just something about this word that invites conversation, denies fisticuffs. “Darling.”

And so, as 2020 ebbs, the waves pulling much of the sands back into the waters, I too dream of a 2021 in which I begin each sentence with “Darling.” Alongside my teacher-monk, I pray for an attitude in which I approach each relationship with the vibration of “Darling.” Oh, that my countenance would buzz at the frequency of “Darling.” That I would hold myself and all others in the sweet, delicate space of “Darling.” And believe that they would do the same for me just as soon as they knew how to do so. And that together, we would embrace a brave (read bravely vulnerable) new (read now) world (read experience.)

And this, Darling, is our destiny. I’m sure of it.

Writing Every Day Down.

Humongous, magical Love and great big hugs,

Lisa xx