Thirty-five years ago today, I know exactly what I was doing and how I was feeling.
I was single. Scared shitless, wondering if I’m making the right decision. Overwhelmed and totally clueless as to what the heck I was saying “I do” to… and, truth be known, clueless as to WHO I was saying “I do” to. We’d dated for two years but… I had yet to even fart in front of him. I was on my best behavior, seldom rocking the boat. Smooth waters, thank you.
We’ve come a long way since then.
And I’m going to lay it out straight and simple here. It’s because of him. I am a royal pain in the ars. Really. It’s hardly ever 50-50. Most days, it’s closer to 70-30. I am emotional and driven, wired for sound and full of energy. Blathering on about hopes and dreams, that man listens like it’s his job and he’s up for a raise. He’s one big heart walking around on those long legs.
I won the lottery, dude.
We get asked how we’ve done it, made all these years knit together into this most amazing tapestry. So here goes:
We laugh a lot.
If we couldn’t laugh, we would all go insane.
Robert Frost
As the years have marched on, we have found more and more of life just really funny. Yes, there’s heartache and loss, grief and frustration, anger and confusion… need I delineate all that happens in nearly 35 years of marriage that includes bringing FiveBeautifulSouls into the party?
- Special needs kids? Yep, we got ‘em.
- Difficult work situations? Check!
- Not enough money? Uhm, yup.
- Health shit? Double check.
- Adult children? Five checkmarks. (Whoever said small kid, small probs; bigger kids, bigger probs was a parent. Sheeeeesh.)
And yet.
There is still room for laughter. For gratitude. For tears of joy, tears of pain, reminding each other of the bigger picture, and offering a foot massage.
There is still room for hilarity. For going kayaking, mowing the lawn, paying the bills, checking on the folks, running out in the middle of the night to help a kid who got stuck in a snow bank (or jail), mourning, going for a run, folding laundry, and sharing a bowl of popcorn.
It’s not been a smoothly sailing ship by any means in these 35 years. But they’ve been worth remembering and celebrating. And believing that maybe we’ll get another 35?…
The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.
Dolly Parton
Me: (fart)
Him: Ya know, they say that once you start farting in front of each other that the romance is over.
Me: (fart again)
Him: I agree. They don’t know what they’re talking about.
……..Told ya. He’s a keeper.
I think feeling deeply is the most profound thing of all. Feeling the pain allows you to also feel the laughter in life. If you’re feeling – whether it’s sadness or anger, happiness or fulfillment – good on you! That’s some brave shit right there. Allowing yourself to feel is empowering, healing, and a mighty act indeed. Here’s a gold star and a hug.
Edgy, joyful, pondering…
Lisa ❤
If you like these ponderings, please check out my 30-day journals. They’re just perfect for someone like you! 🙂 Downloadable pdfs on a variety of topics. Sure to encourage, inspire, motivate, and create meaningful ponderings. ❤
Writing Every Day Down 