two roads

Two roads diverged in a wood… and I took the one less traveled by. This has made all the difference.

Robert Frost

Shit happens.

all of us, at some point

• Shit happens.
• You can’t change the shit.
• Change the way you think about the shit.
• Your world changes.

I’ve deleted this opening a number of times. That’s a lot of cussing, Lis. So I came up with “how to alchemize your difficult experiences.” 

Which sounds pretentious as hell. So “shit happens” it is. 

Here is a real life practical way to deal with all the shit.

CHANGE YOUR THOUGHTS.

If you can’t change the situation, change the way you think about the situation. On the other side of your current narrative, there’s freedom. Promise.

True story. Parents divorced, neither cared to nurture me. These are the facts. WHAT I DO WITH THESE FACTS IS MY RESPONSIBILITY. I cannot change my parents. I cannot change the divorce. These facts of my life are out of my “control” (not a favorite word of mine but one that people understand so I use it here.) What to do? 

Options:

• See the facts. Create a narrative: unfair, unjust, abandonment, rejection, trauma, victimhood. 
• See the facts. Create a narrative: how has this happened FOR me?

Victim.

Victor.

Note:

See the facts. No fairytales and no monsters. Hurt people hurt people, each doing the best they know how in that moment. It’s easy to get stuck in good-bad, but going there is a dead end. Stay off that path, onto the less ventured one: how has this happened FOR me?

Feel your feelings around the situation. Denying isn’t helpful. Do the work of reparenting yourself, being curious, compassionate, and courageous to heal. Then, when the time is right and you’re ready to hear it, ask yourself: how has this happened FOR me?

Remain humble. We have all hurt another person, been on both the giving and receiving end of shit. We too have bled all over people who never cut us. We’re all walking through generational pain, clearing the path of ancestral karma. Some of us are clearing more efficiently than others. If you are one, hug yourself and be thankful. No one chooses at a conscious level to hate. If you’re hating, you’re not awake. If you’re loving, the onus is on you to keep loving, even those who are hating.

Be patient. The journey may be long. It may be uncomfortable. It may not be easy. But it IS possible. Healing IS your outcome. Healing not only you but your ancestors and the generations to come. All because you were brave to breathe, do the work, respond in love rather than more fear and ego, and ask yourself: how has this happened FOR me?

Powerless.

Powerful.

“But it’s not that easy and you don’t know how bad it was, has been, is right now.”

I never said it would be easy.

As a matter of fact, healing generations of pain is mighty hard work indeed! It takes intention; it begs for boldness; it screams for a defying spirit that says, “I will not let this mindset continue to be passed down in our gene pool!”; it requires mindfulness; healing pain is a really big deal, dude. It doesn’t happen incidentally, accidentally, or easily. 

But healing DOES happen, CAN happen, even WANTS to happen… when you stop and roll. Get yourself under a tree, on the grass, somewhere out in nature for an hour, a day, three months… and you head out there to lose your mind and gain your life, see things differently and intend from the core of your being to discover simplicity, remember peace, and incarnate Love.

Trauma.

Triumph.

“But it’s not fair that they got away with it…”

They didn’t. Oh, they didn’t. And once you start to wake up and remember who you are, you will understand this. And you will ache for them, mourning as you see the life they chose not to experience. They got away with nothing. 

Victorious: how is this happening FOR me? 

Empowered: how is this happening FOR me?

Triumphant: how is this happening FOR me?

Your move.

If you’re experiencing a difficult narrative, I’ve got no guilt to lay on you nor shame to shove in your backpack. I do have freedom to offer, however, when you allow yourself to truly FEEL your feelings… not just talk about them, stew in them, or push them to the way back. Invite them out to play, allow them to be felt, and receive their message. Promise you they’ll be on their way, leave your energies, and dissolve within your body. It will be among your bravest acts, indeed. Luckily, I have faith in you. And I happen to be walking right beside you. That’s me you’re hearing, cheering you on. And may I say, freedom looks good on you. Here’s a hug.

Edgy, joyful, pondering…

Lisa ❤

If you like these ponderings, please check out my 30-day journals. They’re just perfect for someone like you. 🙂 Downloadable pdfs on a variety of topics. Sure to encourage, inspire, motivate, and create meaningful ponderings. ❤