Don’t take anything personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
Don Miguel Ruiz
True story from twenty-five years ago:
One of my gyms burned down.
We had minimal insurance (because whoever thinks the building is going to burn down?)
We compensated those who lost anything they had left in the gym.
Most said, “hey, don’t worry about it.”
That was kind.
This was a rough patch for Husband and me and our family.
I was pregnant with our fourth.
Overwhelmed to say the least.
Trying to make ends meet.
Then this.
It was a lot.
Heard through the grapevine that someone was dishing some lies about me, about the insurance money, about my integrity.
Lies.
I was surprised, then hurt, then pissed, then bewildered, and finally landed on peaceful.
Choices.
I had many.
I chose forgiveness.
“Forgive them, God, and help me to also… not because they deserve it (maybe they do, maybe they don’t – not the point) and not because I wanna get to heaven (already living heaven right here, thank you) and not because I wanna take the moral high ground (whatever the feck that is?) I want to forgive them because carrying around bitterness is too damn heavy. And it feels nasty inside to be filled up with pissed-off-ness. So, I forgive them. My freedom is too precious to me… besides, they don’t know what they’re doing. Lying, deceiving, spreading hate… that’s dis-ease and who would purposely do that to themselves?!”
Hate is too heavy a burden.
M. L. King, Jr.
When word got to me that this soul was misrepresenting me – and, who knows, maybe she believed that I was in fact withholding funds? Don’t know, she never tried to have a conversation with me… well, when word got to me, I was given the OPPORTUNITY to respond, and to see what I was actually made of.
- Grit.
- Integrity.
- Forgiveness.
- Understanding.
- Compassion.
What happened to her? Where is she so hurt that she’s bleeding all over me?
what I ask myself when people act shitty
“Not true, what she’s saying,” I stood softly and spoke firmly.
Most stayed with me.
We found another place to exercise and live the sweaty work-out life together.
We were sad for this soul… sad for her anger, her bitterness, her victimhood.
I understood that her actions were not about me.
I wasn’t her bully.
I wouldn’t allow her to be my victim.
Two roads diverged… I took the one less traveled by.
And this has made all the difference.
Robert Frost
I chose to see her God-ness, though she’d forgotten It.
And a shout-out of gratitude to those who would not allow me to wallow in my victimhood over the years… pissed me off at the time… but I see more clearly now. There is no freedom in victimhood. Choose to heal; choose to own your life, your choices, your narrative. Choose authenticity, vulnerability, power.
It’s never too late to take a deep breath, express thanks, and remember who the heck you are as Power, as Divine, as Love.
If today, you find yourself on the other end of someone else’s misperceptions, let me very clearly remind you that YOU HAVE A CHOICE regarding your response. Choose Love. Choose Peace. Choose Joy. And may I whisper into your heart’s ear, Compassion looks really good on you… and here’s a hug.
Edge-y, joyful, pondering…
Lisa ❤
Licensed Sound Therapist
Certified Mind-Body Coach
If you like these ponderings, please check out my 30-day journals. They’re just perfect for someone like you. 🙂 Downloadable pdfs on a variety of topics. Sure to encourage, inspire, motivate, and create meaningful ponderings. ❤
Writing Every Day Down 