Comparison is the killer of joy.
I was at the pool today, enjoying every moment of my freestyle crawling, the deep breathing, the refreshing waters, that feeling that I am weightless… and then this happened: I took my eyes off my own lane.
I began to compare. Compare myself with the swimmer in the next lane.
I noticed that she was faster than me… and I felt upset, began to berate myself. “Slow-poke! Wind those arms around faster!” It didn’t help. I just could not catch up with her.
My head underwater, I saw more clearly the situation. She was wearing flippers which assisted her pace greatly.
I silently thanked my fellow swimmer for showing up, for speeding along and allowing me to see what’s going on in my heart: insecurity, fear, comparison.
Sigh.
It’s a damn lot, this healing journey.
I am currently owning my “killer of joy” comparing and realizing that there is yet a part of me that is in need of compassion, a hug, and deeper recalibration. Love is missing here, in this little fearful spot within, and I’m spending precious time today loving that Me right into Confidence-n-Peace.
The fastest way to kill something special is to compare it to something else.
We are programmed by religion, our parents, school, gyms, social media, the clothing industry and niggled on by society to keep up with the Joneses, to perform better than the one next door, to always be achieving, trying, pushing, pulling, making it happen. It’s a bunch of bull shit and I’m calling it what it is: competition meant to keep us feeling insecure and inadequate, separated and self-shaming.
To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.
R. W. Emerson
And I am at the end of the lane with it… from now on, God help me, I will enjoy and be thankful for my lot and hope everyone else in the pool is too.
The truth is THERE IS NO OTHER. I am you; you are me. We are One.
What the heck is there to compare, then? It’s like the fourth rib on the right comparing itself to the left knee cap. It’s ridiculous! We need both and each serves a different and vital capacity. Rib and KneeCap, please see how unique and essential you both are, understand that you are part of the same body, take a deep breath and hug. Let’s all get along… let’s rejoice in each other! ❤
The flower doesn’t think to compare itself to the flower next to it. It just blooms.
Zen Shin
Lisa, LIsa, dear Soul, stop comparing. Stop killing your joy.
Life is the most difficult exam. Many people fail because they try to copy others, not realizing that everyone has a different question on their paper.
This is a biggie for me, to not just know in theory that I am good enough but to feel it, to embody that frequency of adequate-bordering-on-greatness-just-like-everyone-else… it’s deep waters for sure.
Luckily, I like to swim.
If today you find yourself lacking joy, is it possible that you too have been comparing yourself to others on social media, a previous version of yourself, or trying to be good enough for God, mate, friends, children, the swimmer in the next lane? Yeah, me too… I see you and I really do understand. Together, let’s wish the best for each other, for ourselves, for the Collective and the world… and here’s a hug.
Edge-y, joyful, pondering…
Lisa
Sound Therapist & Mind-Body Coach
If you like these ponderings, please check out my 30-day journals. They’re just perfect for someone like you. 🙂 Downloadable pdfs on a variety of topics. Sure to encourage, inspire, motivate, and create meaningful ponderings. ❤
Writing Every Day Down 