The body never lies.
I was having an anxiety attack. It wasn’t a big one, and I was doing my very best to control it, understanding it, reason with it, push it into the corner and coax it back down in the basement.
Because I had company. And having a panicky episode is messy and embarrassing and oh-my-god-no-not-in-front-of-others… I’m not one to unpack all my shit out loud. Middle of the night, journaling, under a tree, to the FurButt… but not at a dinner gathering.
But energies do what they do. The body reacts the way it does and begs to be heard, seen, honored on its journey through the ache to healing. Nothing in us wants to be rejected, not even the pain.
I was being given the opportunity to welcome the emotions and memories bubbling up in this moment in response to an event that was happening that was triggering something from the deep. Uncomfortable, yes. Messy, oh friggin’ yes.
But here we were, being invited into the depths of my ache, into the recesses of Pain for the purpose of revelation and healing.
It’s a damn lot, this human experience. A damn lot. 😉
Husband knew I was struggling in the deep end and threw a life vest my way best he could: he talked me logically through the situation, pointing out how “your conclusions are wrong and here are the correct ways to think and so now all is well and please god feel better because I love you and seeing you like this is making me frustrated.”
I recognized his kindness but the life vest wasn’t helpful. I needed more than an intellectual argument to see me through to Peace.
Luke was visiting… he quietly asked if I would be open to putting my hand on his heart, his hand on my heart, and we breathed together. Deep breaths in (my mind is calm) and releasing breaths (my body is at peace.) Deep breaths in (thank you) and releasing breaths (I love you.) Long, long hug… we embraced until I pulled away, which was settling, grounding, assuring.
In this short few minutes, we had stepped out of time, out of space… into the Wonder-land of Peace.
Few words, energetic connection through the hands – such vital chakra points here – and the heart – big portal IN – and the breath. MAGICAL.
I understood that the young child within me had been abandoned and she created a story of death around that long-ago event that I had now brought into my present moment, and it was triggered by a current event (the SD card wouldn’t go into a camera I had just purchased… go figure, it would seem these two events could not be related but the body has a way of revealing unhealed parts in the oddest ways.)
Talking me through at that time wasn’t helpful. Approaching my body energetically through heart-hand-breath calmed my nervous system and created a frequency in which I could “hear” Husband’s logic.
Body’s nervous system first. Approach the body-held trauma first via energies. When ready, re-organize thoughts, allowing old mindsets to be revealed and re-storied. But the body FIRST.
Luke reminded me that I am the one who showed him the heart-hand-breath practice… yes, I knew this healing path… but I also have come to realize that healing is done in community, among us all, in safe space, willing hearts, open hands, and slowed breath.
It was a magical evening indeed.
If today you find yourself in panic mode, I really do understand what you’re going through… so keep going! Don’t stop! The only way out is through, IN to the heart space, that portal into the Depths where True Identity resides and healing abides. Let’s go there together… and here’s a looooooooong hug.
Edge-y, joyful, pondering…
Lisa
Intuitive Healer & Spiritual Guide
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Writing Every Day Down 