Trauma is not what happens to us but what we hold inside in the absence of an empathic witness.
Peter Levine
As a Collective Consciousness, I think that we are in the throes of understanding that talking about our pain is not sufficient for healing. We must also feel into it, at the physical body place, and allow another to hold sacred space for us in the midst of the experience.
An empathic witness is one who compassionately sits with you while you are allowing your body, your mind, and your heart to invite in the visitor called Pain (in all its guises: fear, abandonment, rejection, victimhood, lack, anger, bitterness, jealousy, envy, selfishness, competition, self-loathing, self-abasement, and so forth.) Pain is there anyway, in the body and at the subconscious level, clouding our vision and directing our path. We don’t know this consciously. The initial experience was too much, too big for us to wrap our heads-hands-heart around and so we shoved it down down down into the recesses of our bodies.
And who shows up now but my emotions from six months ago…
I recall a situation in which I was triggered into self-loathing and then blame-anger-victim (a yummy cocktail indeed) but Husband was cool as Snoopy with his shades on. Snarky arrow flung and he was not bothered in the least while I felt personally pierced and seethed. Husband ambled into the next moment, just water off a duck’s back. When I dug deeper into the WHY, I realized that it wasn’t what was spoken that had hurt me – since Husband wasn’t upset, my reaction was mine alone to own – but something in me already that had reacted to the comment. I was triggered. Something outside of me poked at something already inside of me.
The pain already lodged in my body like fish hooks, piercing and painful… this is what was reacting.
The comment didn’t create my pain. Pain was already there, awaiting a trigger. And thank God for this trigger! At that point, I was able to see it and work with it. Explaining my heartache and taking ownership of my healing, I got with a good friend and allowed Pain to be… to be there, to be seen, welcomed, embraced. Without shaming, blaming, or judging, I felt It deeply and unabashedly – which was not safe to do at the initial situation – and within a few minutes, this visitor said its piece and left me in peace.
The key here is a compassionate witness, someone to hold sacred space, to sit with you as you intentionally allow whatever is in the body to be acknowledged, allowed, experienced. Finally experienced. No more shoved into the corner, told to SSSHHH, shamed or judged, and definitely not analyzed. Just plain ol’ ALLOWED TO BE THERE.
It’s a powerful thing, to feel your feelings. And empowering indeed!
Today, a friend of mine reached out to let me know that she is struggling with some childhood memories and physical pain that has been bubbling up for a few months now. Rather than try to figure out where it came from – don’t do this, please… a waste of energies and usually you’re wrong anyway – I recommended she acknowledge, allow, and rest into the experience. Open herself up to finally feel what’s been there all along… and sit with a gentle, kind witness who will hold her, remind her she’s loved and powerful, and maybe rub her feet.
The body is our greatest ally in the healing process, as it holds the wisdom and resources necessary for healing.
Peter Levine
I had this vision of her throwing her head back and howling from the core of her being, from that root chakra at her tailbone, just screaming out all the pain. Getting it out of her body, out of her heart, out of her mind, and out of her energetic field… a cleansing, carnal, animalistic roar that takes with it all the memories and emotions, thought patterns and injury.
Recovering from trauma is not about erasing the past; it is about reclaiming out power and rewriting our future.
Peter Levine
Lately I’ve been envisioning myself writing my own story, the unpacking of my life. Day to day, sentence at a time into paragraphs, chapters, books. When I awaken in the early morning, I mentally bring out the book I’ve been scripting, add a paragraph of gratitude, awe, wonder… add a sentence about miracles, divine relationships, ease of countenance… and close up the chapter with more gratitude and joy. And then I breathe deeply a few times, smile, pull my feet from under the covers, and arise, prepared to meet the day with all its ups-down-twists-turns and ALLOW it to unpack. Hand over heart, breathing, and peaceful. With an odd urge to dance….
Dance first. Think later. It’s the natural order.
Samuel Beckett
How about you? Are you open and willing to “dance first” and allow whatever emotional-physical-mental pain to show up at the party? Are you open and willing to love this sacred time with the visitor called Pain? Would you be a compassionate witness for both yourself and others on this human journey?
Here is a short practice that you can do right now to cultivate intentional mind-body connection for the purpose of healing trauma:
Find three songs that stir you right now. If possible, go outside. Bare feet on the ground, dance to these songs. Dance and allow the body to do whatever it wants. Dance like no one is watching!
(Heck, you may even find yourself down on all fours, head thrust back, mouth wide open in a good long howl. AAHH-OOOOOOOOOOOO And good on you!) 😉
Edgy, joyful, pondering…
Lisa
Modern Mystic & Life Coach
If you like these contemplations, please check out my 30-day journals. They’re just perfect for someone like you. 🙂 Downloadable PDFs on a variety of topics. Sure to encourage, inspire, motivate, and create meaningful ponderings. ❤
Writing Every Day Down 