Writing Every Day Down

So Long, Summer 2023

It’s part procrastination, part I-don’t-wanna-see-summer-end, and part this-is-gonna-be-coooooold that I wait til October to close the pool.
Husband, shivering

Well, it’s officially the end of summer here at our house as Husband puts the finishing touches on closing the pool. He seldom gets to this task in September, though we’ve never gotten into November with an open pool.

I don’t help.

It’s just too damn cold. Yes, I do pull the cover on once he’s gotten the barrels in place, strings tied, and bricks prepared. But do I get IN the pool? Uhm, hard no. He’s a good sport about it, thank God.

Kinda like cleaning up vomit when the kids were yet wee… this was my thing and I never made him feel badly about leaving it to me. We know our capacities for puke and so-cold-could-cause-bodily-harm.

There are many who tout the benefits of ice baths. I am not one of them. Okay, there are benefits, but… I am not one of them reaping the benefits.

No.

We joke and wonder how long it’ll be before his man-bits find their way back down. (It’s usually some time in November, if you’re wondering.) 😉

It was a good summer. Busier than I’d preferred, some surprise events that caused me to slip off the rails a bit, but we’re back on and the engine is at a purr… all in all, busy but productive. We’ve already said that next summer can be a bit more chill, er, quiet.

In the meantime, I’ll be swimming over at the college facility. It’s actually a tepid dip. Almost darn chilly. I’m acclimating to the cold, albeit slowly. I’m not promising anything b-u-u-u-t, next summer, I may be able to join him in closing the pool.

And I won’t even insist he share in the vomit-cleaning. 😉

If today you find yourself ending one thing and looking ahead to the next, me too… change is never easy for most of us so if you’re a bit out of sorts, I see you. Here beside you. “Chilled but hopeful” is a good look on us, I’d say… and here’s a hug.

Edge-y, joyful, pondering…

Lisa

EnergieGal Holistic Wellness

Licensed Sound Therapist

Certified Mind-Body Coach

If you like these ponderings, please check out my 30-day journals. They’re just perfect for someone like you. 🙂 Downloadable pdfs on a variety of topics. Sure to encourage, inspire, motivate, and create meaningful ponderings. ❤

Happy 27th, FourthSon

He’s my fourth son… and among FiveBeautifulSouls who have taught me more about Life and Love and Forgiveness and Hope and Surrender than any others. Thank you, FourthSon and cheers to you, to us, on your 27th!
Me AKA “Mammy”

He calls me Mammy. Paw and Mammy. He’s just so funny and incredibly responsible, logical, dreamy, and did I mention hilarious?! He’s the photo bomber in our family of shy picture-posers. If there’s a bomb opportunity, he’s the one blowing it up.

The deepest laughter that I have ever experienced was listening to a conversation between FourthSon and OtherSon (one of my many other children, born of other parents but ours in heart.) “Mah legs… I can’t feel mah legs…” I know it doesn’t make sense, but I am still laughing out loud right now as I recall the snippets of convo… ah, medicine for my soul.

FourthSon wasn’t a surprise. We knew another boy had chosen us to come through and experience this incarnation. Not gonna lie, finding out I was having another son did shake me up a bit… after three sons, I thought maybe a daughter would be a fun change of pace… God had other plans and it has made all the difference in my life.

It was an easy pregnancy. I gained just a few pounds, a little basketball is all. He was small at birth and super duper chill. He saved up all his demands and late nights for high school. 😉

Truth be known, we’re a lot alike. (fist pump!)

There was a time when he would not have seen this nor wanted to admit it… but recently he commented, “sheesh, Mammy… I seem to be more and more like you the older I get…” (another fist pump!)

At 27 years old now, he is a most kind, grounded, responsible, thoughtful soul… and together with his Bestie girlfriend of ten years, Bailey, they’re quite a dynamic duo. They’ve got hopes and dreams together, as well as Oliver and Sushi and most recently Bonnebelle, our grand furbabes. Soon there’ll be a first-house purchase… and perhaps little voices giggling, “Eema, bake more cookies please!”

But I get ahead of myself…

Today, I am thankful for this FourthSon. It is because of him that I am more thoughtful, more faithful, more introspective. He has taught me well, patient soul he is, and I know he has more to share with me on our journey together.

Here’s to you, Austin Julian… named for my family and your Grandma Julie. You have been among the best vibrations to come into our tribe. I totally dig your balanced countenance, showing me that work is important but friendships, recreation, and naptime are non-negotiables as well. Yes, loving others is a must, but even before that is loving self… and you’ve been a shining example of loving without needing because you already love yourself. Such a big, big teaching you’ve shared, thank you for this. Again and again, thank you.

What if life is less about conquering and more about discovering, exploring… the adventure?
FourthSon (told ya, so wise, insightful; he’s a thought-provoker fo sho)

In some little corner of my heart, he’ll always be “Baby Austin” to me… little brother to OldestSon, SecondSon, and MiddleSon, older brother to Daughter. He’s the perfect fit, wiggled right in there among the introverted, perfectionistic, and slightly socially awkward souls that we are… he’s the flavor, the fun colors, the depths. He keeps us on our toes and outside our comfort zones.

I will happily, joyfully, thankfully continue to count on him to hug, find humor, offer quiet, deeply wise perspective, show up late, always hold grateful space… and photo bomb those infrequent picture poses…

Cheers to my favorite FourthSon.

If today you find yourself nostalgic, me too… and here’s a hug.

Edge-y, joyful, pondering…

Lisa

EnergieGal Holistic Wellness

Licensed Sound Therapist

Certified Mind-Body Coach

My Favorite Chore

If you truly love nature, you will find beauty everywhere.
Laura Ingalls Wilde

I am one of those weirdos who actually enjoys making a list of chores and doing them. Among my favorite to-do’s:

washing dishes
laundry – the whole dang process from basket to drawer
vacuuming
sweeping the floors
weeding the garden
mowing the lawn

(Some of my least:)

dusting
cleaning the bathrooms
cleaning the inside of my car

Mowing the lawn ranks up there as my top three faves. I love seeing that the job is done; I enjoy making neat, straight lines; the smell of the fresh cut grass is like a drug; the physical exertion is satisfying; I am alone with my thoughts. All in all, yes please.

I’m thankful that we own an acre. I cannot imagine not having some greenery to call my own, to plant trees into, to sow seeds upon, to lay a blanket on and gaze upon the clouds…. all in all, yes please.

Two of my children are recently interested in purchasing their own homes. Both desire land. There’s just something rewarding about coming home after a long day to your own space, your own corner of nature, your own Paradise. I’m so excited for them!

I’m sure hoping they’ll let me mow…. 😉

If today you find yourself somewhat out of sorts, may I suggest taking time to sit in nature? Find a big fat tree and plop yourself under Her. Feel her strength, her stability, listen to her wisdom. Lay back on the grass, name the clouds. Peer curiously at the blades of grass, hear their whispers of joy, patience, zest for life. Ah, what a good look for you, this surrendering to this moment, this leaning in to Mother Nature’s arms… her hug.

Edge-y, joyful, pondering…

Lisa

EnergieGal Holistic Wellness

Licensed Sound Therapist

Certified Mind-Body Coach

A Message To Young Me

You will say and do and dream and err and triumph over and over again between now and then… enjoy every moment of it.
58 year old me to Young Me

Met with a friend today. You know you’re getting on in years when you can say, “I’ve known her for almost 30 years.” Yeah, that kinda friend. A forever and always friend. A friend who will drive an hour or so just for a quick hug and a short conversation.

A friend who laughs and cries with you, shares her victories and sorrows, gives and receives Truth (even when it stings), prays for you, shares photos of her latest cruise, rolls her eyes with you at Husband’s latest antics, and who already misses you before you’ve even hugged good-bye… is the best gift ever.

This is a soul with whom being vulnerable is safe, authenticity is a must, and healing is inevitable. We two are connected supernaturally, knit together as the Scorpios we are, deep and curious, perhaps more than a little mistrusting and cynical… with willing hearts to surrender bitterness, release victim narrative, and remember that we are loved, loveable, worthy, and on occasion even funny.

I was an awkward youngster, grew into an awkward preteen, and developed into a people-pleasing teenager-young adult-adult. Because I couldn’t quite fit in, couldn’t find my tribe/circle/group, I doubted I was friend material… or that I would ever find a friend, let alone a group of them. My younger self struggled in doubt, insecurity, wanted to play small, keep the light on dim, hide it all under a bushel. Striving, conniving, manipulating, trying-trying-trying became all that I knew. Perfectionism. Setting that bar so high… and then beating myself with it, whether I achieved its heights or not.

LongTimeFriend and I pondered this similar coping strategy turned personality that we’ve adopted to endure the day, then the next. Serious-minded, logical, burdened… but also judgmental, hard on ourselves and others, often disappointed.

It’s a damn lot, this life. With its messiness and relationships. Oh, the obstacles, the difficult times… the opportunities for growth, maturation, evolution, healing.

If I could return to YoungMe and share one thing with her, I might whisper, “you are going to experience sooooo much in this incarnation: grief, anger, depression, joy unspeakable, laughter, excitement… you will fuck things up big time and create masterpieces too… you will want to hang it up one day and soar the next; you will regret, feel ashamed, guilty and then understand it’s all good, just big feels and bigger healing; you will scream and yell and sing and shout; you will write poetry and cuss like a sailor; you will welcome friends and enemies alike, and find that none were enemies after all, only messengers; you will grow in wisdom, waistline, and wonder… enjoy every single second of it!”

I count it all joy. All of it.

If today you find yourself pondering, nostalgic, wistful… me too… I think this looks good on us, really I do… so here’s a hug… and to friendships.

Edge-y, joyful, pondering…

Lisa

EnergieGal Holistic Wellness

Licensed Sound Therapist

Certified Mind-Body Coach

Lessons From FurButt

You are the best Mama ever and I will lick your face to prove it.
Gia Augustine-Glasier

I could write a blog post about FurButt every single day. There’s always something that she’s teaching me. Because she’s so wise and full of hugs and kisses, I figure she comes from Someplace Else like Heaven or the future or maybe she’s really God in disguise.

Here’s her schedule for today:

get up early so we can go for a walk and poop
watch the sun come up and wake up the neighbors because you don’t wanna miss any of this day and yes it’s worth yip-yapping about
take a morning nap, preferably outside under Tree
back inside, eat part of Tall Thin Dude’s pancake
pretend you didn’t so Mama gives you breakfast 😉
nudge Mama and get her on the tready, watch her carefully the whole time
head back outside because Tree is lonely and needs to be peed on
if the neighbors aren’t up yet, they will be because it’s time to bark at the guys harvesting the grapes
nap just because…

It’s time for me to head out to run errands and I’m sure she’ll continue to nap, even though I’ve asked her to fold the laundry and give the floors a quick sweep. Sigh. She’s cute, yes, but not task-oriented or handy.

All in all, though, she slows me down. Picks me up when I’m feeling blue. Snuggles in when I’m feeling lonely. Asks no questions, solves no problems. Gazes into my soul. Grounds and calms me.

She’s like a big bowl of popcorn, comforting and a little messy but always worth it.

If today you’re feeling a little lost or out of sorts, let your pet comfort you. No pet? Head to a shelter or a friend’s house who has pets. The vibration of an animal is healing, just so simple and without agenda. Pure, sloppy kisses and hugs and all it’ll cost ya is a good belly-rubbin’. And maybe a walk around the block.

Edge-y, joyful, pondering…

Lisa

EnergieGal Holistic Wellness

Licensed Sound Therapist

Certified Mind-Body Coach

No Ordinary Spider

Well it seems to me that you’re a little off… it seems to me that we have no ordinary spider.
Mrs. Zuckerman, Charlotte’s Web by E. B. White

I loved this book when I was a kid. Read it numerous times and I hardly ever do that. Once and done. But oh that Charlotte. I loved her! Her wisdom, her frankness, her intelligence, her web-spinning abilities… she had me at “salutations!”

Fortunately for the HUGE and BIG and GIGANTIC spider I found on our bathroom floor today, I honor Charlotte’s memory by not killing spiders. But damn, this was the biggest friggin’ spider I have ever seen in our house.

I usually try to do the cover-slip-paper-under and transfer their furry selves outside… but this one was just too big, and I was just too scared. So, upside down toothbrush holder atop the feller, a quick note written to inform Husband of said feller, and left the job of transfer to him.

Husband reports that Charlotte was in fact still under the toothbrush holder, just awaiting transfer. Since we don’t have a pig whose life is being threatened, I figured the best place for her was outside. She seemed amenable.

Amenable. Probably a word she could spell.

I hope that something extraordinary happens to you today! Like Charlotte, or Wilbur, or friendships, or love, or laughter, or tears. I’m right beside you, noticing the miracles and thankful for you… and here’s a hug.

Edge-y, joyful, pondering…

Lisa

EnergieGal Holistic Wellness

Licensed Sound Therapist

Certified Mind-Body Coach

A Tree Named Iris

He who plants trees, loves others besides himself.
M. L. King, Jr.

We planted Iris today. She beautiful! Mother-in-law gifted her to us for our 35th wedding anniversary. Did I mention that she’s beautiful?

Long branches, and many of them! Oh, the promise of hundreds of apples… apple pie, apple cobbler, apple streusel, applesauce… and just apples!

My favorite fruit is the apple. I like ’em green or yellow or red, sweet or tart or sour, firm please. Refreshing, filling… I eat an apple and it’s like I feel instantaneously healthier. 😉

Thank you, God, for fruit trees.

Unsure as to when she’ll blossom, how many she’ll produce, or even if she’ll make it through our treacherous Western New York winter. But we hope, we plant and water, wrap her in mesh and support her with metal posts… because I may have grandbabies someday and they’ll want Eema to bake a pie or make some sauce.

We plant trees because we believe there’ll be a tomorrow and another tomorrow after that. We plant trees because we want generations from now to enjoy shade that we didn’t, a tire swinging afternoon that we didn’t, a climb to the top to see clear past the last row of grapes that we didn’t… we plant trees because we love people we don’t even know yet and may never meet. We plant trees because time marches on and life keeps going and going… We plant trees to show the world and ourselves that tomorrow is worth believing in, fighting for, dreaming about…

Trees show us that there is so much going on under the surface, at the root level. They show us that there is deep connection within the orchard, and that when one is struggling, another can feel it and send healing. Trees, with their roots spanning feet and feet and feet, show us that we are intertwined, and that distance means nothing. We are no more than inches from each other, at our roots.

Trees, with their high frequency and deep wisdom, provide shade, food, and healing. Sitting under a tree for just a few minutes daily can move energies, heal bodies, clear minds, ground and connect us to ourselves and each other.

Plant a tree. Save the world. Maybe it really is just this simple.

If today you’re feeling alone, lonely, maybe even invisible… I get it, I understand you. While I am “right beside you” on this journey, you may not feel me… so meet me under a tree. Any tree ‘ll do. Sit, pause, breathe. We’re gonna be okay… and here’s a hug.

Edge-y, joyful, pondering…

Lisa

EnergieGal Holistic Wellness

Licensed Sound Therapist

Certified Mind-Body Coach

When Life Is Unfair

Life, I’ve learned, is never fair. If people teach anything in school, that should be it.
Landon Carter, A Walk To Remember by Nicholas Sparks

I remember well my Spanish teacher in high school. He would end each and every class, “adios… and remember, ninos, life es no fair.”

I also remember thinking, “well shit, what a downer of a dude.”

And today I think, “well shit, what a wise downer of a dude.”

No, life isn’t fair. I don’t think it was created to be fair. It was created to be experienced. And unfairness is part of the whole big fat story.

So, given this, what do we do with all those deep and messy feelings that get stirred up when we have been wronged. When life has shown itself to be as unfair as my Spanish teacher promised, what the hell do we do with all those feels? Because they will be erupt, they will be intense, and they will not relent…

First, let’s realize that it is understandable to feel pained when life has been unfair, when situations have happened that have left us holding onto the short end of the stick. Yes, it’s going to happen to all of us.

All. Of. Us.

Not one person gets out of here alive. We all experience pain. Unfairness. The ache of rejection, abandonment, of being misunderstood, ignored, thrown under the bus… yes, unfair happens. To us all.

And the understandable reaction is to feel like we’ve been wronged, that life is unfair, or that someone has gotten away with hurting us. Of course we’re going to hurt.

So… hurt.

DO:

Allow yourself to feel your feelings down into your body where they reside.
Talk about it with a trusted friend who’s going to encourage, hold space, see through the eyes of love.
Be compassionate towards yourself. NOTHING IN YOU WANTS TO BE REJECTED, not even the pain. Show love. Self-care big time.
Create a powerful narrative in which you are victorious, triumphant, loving, loved, and riding the wave of this human experience with grace. And forgiveness.

Focus on what’s good in your life.

DON’T:

Rehash rebuttals.
Wish harm on others.
Post to social media.
Ignore your pain.

This, my dear, is the greatest challenge to being alive: To witness the injustice of this world and not allow it to consume our light.

And so, remembering my Spanish teacher, that wise ol’ downer dude, I also remember this:

I refuse to play the victim.
I will not be ruled my fear, pessimism, or negativity.
I will not quit being curious about where I feel my feelings in my body, about being compassionate to that aching part of me that longs for love, and about being courageous to create a narrative in which I am empowered not in spite of but because of my experiences in this life.

Yes, there is unfairness, and it would appear that some people are getting away with hurting you and hurting me and hurting us… but the story continues, life is long… there is a ton of overcoming happening in our world. (And by overcoming, I mean: loving, forgiving, seeing clearly, holding space, praying, thanking.)

This is what I choose to focus on. The incredible souls who overcome major and minor obstacles and stay standing, soft, pliable, humorous, kind.

This is what I choose to remember. That life is perhaps in fact full of unfairness but it is also full of the overcoming of it. And we are all the better for it. Stronger, kinder, humbler, quieter, wiser.

Two roads. Your move.

If today life feels unfair to you and it sure feels like some people are “getting away with it,” please know that I walk beside you, holding space and seeing you. You will not stay here, in this space of pain, forever. Courage looks so good on you… and here’s a hug.

Edge-y, joyful, pondering…

Lisa

EnergieGal Holistic Wellness

Licensed Sound Therapist

Certified Mind-Body Coach
If you like these ponderings, please check out my 30-day journals. They’re just perfect for someone like you. 🙂 Downloadable pdfs on a variety of topics. Sure to encourage, inspire, motivate, and create meaningful ponderings. ❤

PS here is a YouTube video I created recently about “unfairness” and there’s a practical application I teach that you may find helpful. Enjoy.

Pants And Soup

I had to wear pants today.

PANTS!

I hate pants.

I hate clothes in general.

Gah, the feel of fabric on my skin.

No. Hard no.

But… as summer ebbs its way into autumn,

pants.

Because, more than hating the feel of pants,

I loathe being cold.

I can’t change the inevitable changing of seasons.

But I can change my attitude.

Yes, there will be pants.

But what else?…

The reds and yellows of leaves.

Yes, please!

Football.

Go, Bills!

Husband’s hunting gear hanging from the porch.

Grounding.

Planning the Christmas cookie list.

The gift list.

Anticipating the Christmas tree with all its decorations and lights.

FiveBeautifulSouls gathered here.

Laughter.

Change. Inevitable.

Change. Stirs up all sorts of feelings.

Excitement.
Anticipation.
Exhilaration.
Fear.
Anxiety.
Exhaustion.

Nope, I can’t change the changing seasons.

But I can own my attitude about it.

Yes, there will be pants.

But what else?…

There’s hearing the crunch of the snow under my boots during FurButt’s morning walks. Something about the air, so crisp and cold, almost cleansing. Like, life is nestled in and taking a short breather. Naps are welcomed and long movies are watched in one sitting. The pace of days seems to slow, quiet. Pause. Breathe deeper.

Yep, pants.

But what else?…

Soup.

I love me a cookie but a bowl of soup gets me at the table, spoon in hand, like pronto, baby.

Hard no to clothes – they make my skin itch something awful – but oh, the warmth of homemade goodness down in my belly.

Big yes, dude.

So, yeah I know there’ll be piles of leaves to rake and mounds of snow to shovel, but there’ll also be plates of cookies and pots of soup.

Indeed, pants.

But also soup.

Amen.

It’s all in how ya look at it.

Humor helps too. 🙂

If you find yourself in a season of inevitable change, here I am right beside you. One door is closing but may I offer that another is opening? And, may I add, curiosity and courage look darn good on you… here’s a hug.

Edge-y, joyful, pondering…

Lisa ❤

EnergieGal Holistic Wellness

Licensed Sound Therapist

Certified Mind-Body Coach

It’s Not About You

Don’t take anything personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
Don Miguel Ruiz

True story from twenty-five years ago:

One of my gyms burned down.

We had minimal insurance (because whoever thinks the building is going to burn down?)

We compensated those who lost anything they had left in the gym.

Most said, “hey, don’t worry about it.”

That was kind.

This was a rough patch for Husband and me and our family.

I was pregnant with our fourth.

Overwhelmed to say the least.

Trying to make ends meet.

Then this.

It was a lot.

Heard through the grapevine that someone was dishing some lies about me, about the insurance money, about my integrity.

Lies.

I was surprised, then hurt, then pissed, then bewildered, and finally landed on peaceful.

Choices.

I had many.

I chose forgiveness.

“Forgive them, God, and help me to also… not because they deserve it (maybe they do, maybe they don’t – not the point) and not because I wanna get to heaven (already living heaven right here, thank you) and not because I wanna take the moral high ground (whatever the feck that is?) I want to forgive them because carrying around bitterness is too damn heavy. And it feels nasty inside to be filled up with pissed-off-ness. So, I forgive them. My freedom is too precious to me… besides, they don’t know what they’re doing. Lying, deceiving, spreading hate… that’s dis-ease and who would purposely do that to themselves?!”

Hate is too heavy a burden.
M. L. King, Jr.

When word got to me that this soul was misrepresenting me – and, who knows, maybe she believed that I was in fact withholding funds? Don’t know, she never tried to have a conversation with me… well, when word got to me, I was given the OPPORTUNITY to respond, and to see what I was actually made of.

Grit.
Integrity.
Forgiveness.
Understanding.
Compassion.

What happened to her? Where is she so hurt that she’s bleeding all over me?
what I ask myself when people act shitty

“Not true, what she’s saying,” I stood softly and spoke firmly.

Most stayed with me.

We found another place to exercise and live the sweaty work-out life together.

We were sad for this soul… sad for her anger, her bitterness, her victimhood.

I understood that her actions were not about me.

I wasn’t her bully.

I wouldn’t allow her to be my victim.

Two roads diverged… I took the one less traveled by.

And this has made all the difference.
Robert Frost

I chose to see her God-ness, though she’d forgotten It.

And a shout-out of gratitude to those who would not allow me to wallow in my victimhood over the years… pissed me off at the time… but I see more clearly now. There is no freedom in victimhood. Choose to heal; choose to own your life, your choices, your narrative. Choose authenticity, vulnerability, power.

It’s never too late to take a deep breath, express thanks, and remember who the heck you are as Power, as Divine, as Love.

If today, you find yourself on the other end of someone else’s misperceptions, let me very clearly remind you that YOU HAVE A CHOICE regarding your response. Choose Love. Choose Peace. Choose Joy. And may I whisper into your heart’s ear, Compassion looks really good on you… and here’s a hug.

Edge-y, joyful, pondering…

Lisa ❤

EnergieGal Holistic Wellness

Licensed Sound Therapist

Certified Mind-Body Coach