Through… <3

Photo by Ashley Williams from Pexels

When listening, do so through your heart.  – Dr. Gabor Mate

My daughter has a gift.

She listens.

Full on, eye-to-eye and heart-to-heart.

You. Are. It.

How incredibly healing this is… when no solutions are presented. Just space. Attention. Love.

Space.

Attention.

Love.

Have you ever been truly listened to? I mean, eye-to-eye and heart-to-heart. The other’s gaze is upon you and only you. With compassion. 

Compassion: concern for the suffering of others

Yes, listened to with compassion. Is there anything more that we could give another… but our full attention, wide open heart, willing to hug arms. Is anything more healing than… being seen, feeling safe, being held.

As one who provides space for those who are experiencing deep emotions such as grief, disappointment, heartache, sadness… and as one who has experienced the chasm, the depth and width and height and length of devastation, of utter loss… I know firsthand how life-giving it is to be in the presence of one who is compassionate, without judgment, and without the need to fix, make right, correct, add two cents.

Listen, when I’m grieving, I just need someone to grieve beside me. To witness my humanness and confirm for me that, while it may feel like it, I am not going to actually die. But, since I feel like I am and may even feel like I want to, would you just hold me? Would you rock me and assure me that this too shall pass, like a wave hits the shore and pulls back out to sea? Would you reassure me that I shall perhaps always grieve but not always feel like I can’t breathe? Would you assure me that I’m not crazy, just out of my mind with ache and loss? – from my personal journal

Listen, I don’t need you to fix me. I need you to hold me. I’m not broken. I’m just grieving. 

from my journal, Lisa Augustine Glasier

And so, my prayer and intention is this:

May I listen through my heart.

May I hold another through my heart.

And with my arms when appropriate.

May I learn to help another process the depths of their emotions through their hearts – which is a brave thing indeed – without feeling the need to teach, chide, offer platitudes or a timeline, explain Providence, or somehow make their tragedy a teachable moment or explainable. Oh God, keep me from this sin!

For the love of this earthly experience, may I allow another who is grieving to grieve. To plunge, kneel, lean into, toe-dip… to BE with grief. Whatever that looks like. For however long it takes. Yes, for however long it takes to learn to breathe again.

May we all learn to live through our hearts.

So that, we may learn to live – and allow others to do so – while we yet grieve.

When listening, may we do so through our hearts.

from Dr. Gabor Mate… Compassionate Inquiry Practitioner course

Amen.

Writing Every Day Down,

In gratitude and wonder.

Lisa xx

P.S. If you’re experiencing grief right now, here is a hug. I’m so sorry; this hurts so much and it sucks and it feels overwhelming. If you need someone to listen, I’m here. For as long as it takes, whatever it looks like. ❤

YOUR JOURNAL PROMPT:

1. Can you feel the difference between listening to another with your mind and with your heart? If so, how do these two types of listening feel different?
2. Sit on the floor or in a chair with your feet on the floor (this grounds you and your energies.) Focus your attention on your feet for one minute. Move the attention to your hands for one minute. Move your attention to your heart space for a minute. And, finally, to your head space. Can you feel the difference among all these places on your body energetically? Journal about this experience.
3. How does your body react when you ponder being hugged? How does your body react when you ponder hugging another? Journal about these two actions.