Chronicles From The Edge

So much change!

So. Much. Energy.

Can you feel it as well?

The energies are deep and the opportunities abound for fast-moving processing of long-held emotions. I’ve been all in on this crazy train ride for the past few months. The outward manifestation of the inner work happening is blowing my mind. So many rough-edged, intertwined knots within my space being softened, untwisted, made plain and peaceful. 

Bestie commented last week, “Whatever you’re doing, it’s rocking your world. Something is going on with you… and that’s a good thing. You’re, uh, I would say you’re more confident, more likely to speak your heart.”

It’s true. You may never, ever find me at a crowded party but i-f you did… I would not necessarily have myself pressed up against the wall. Days past, I may have tried to melt into the paint. 

I feel less like I’m tensing myself, girding my loins for the next tragedy and more like my shoulders and neck can breathe. I don’t have to be on the lookout anymore. I can trust where my foot lands. 

Have you ever experienced such a relief as this? You thought it was bad news coming and you’d braced yourself… and then. To your surprise and utter ohmygoodness, the badness dissolved. Dude, this is life changing.

All this to say, I sat down to write a blog for my site and found myself changing quotes, rearranging pictures, reducing prices, increasing personal information. I have traveled from “Musings On The Extraordinary Mundane” (gratitude and present mindedness) to “Helping You Navigate Heartache And Loss” (staying above the waves of grief, or at least trying not to drown in them) to “Chronicles From The Edge” (authentic me writing about real shit.) 

Just in the last couple of months, I’ve experienced seismic shifts of emotions, and it’s like the way shows itself more clearly. I can see better, further. I can know. I am more Here. Now.

And full of my-Self.

Less ego. Less fear, in all its masks.

More my authentic, weird-ass self. And I am loving every minute of it! It’s like finding a long lost present tucked waaaay back in the closet… like, who knew? Where did THIS come from? And so you open it and find out it is exactly what you’ve been seeking and didn’t even know it. Uhm, yesssss please!

You? You ever experience such a find as this? You’re hungry and you know you are, but you cannot put your finger on for what… you thirst, and you know it, but for what? Because nothing but exactly It will quench your appetite. But what is It?

I’ve come to the conclusion – for today, this moment, as that’s all I’m standing on – that the It is our True Self. Our real-deal-raw-genuine-no-holds-barred Us. Authentic. Naked. Unabashed.

Which, let’s just be honest, is a shitload of scary to find, to share, to allow to unpack and get comfy with. 

But I’ve decided I’m going all in. Bring it. I have a feeling it will cause some raised brows, ahem’s, perhaps a few giggles. Because, leastwise this is my current theory, I think our Self is way more funny and joy-abiding than we give It credit. 

We are, at our corest core, Spirit. Love. I think Jesus knew this about himself and us. Whenever I picture Jesus, he’s always kicking up his heels at a party. TrueStoryDat. WWJD? Dance. Yes indeed, I think he might even dance. Enjoy the living snot out of Life.

To live is the rarest is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.

Oscar Wilde

Okay, I’m tapping… FurButt wants her extra walk around the block on this snowy Sunday afternoon. For all the unconditional love and sloppy deer-poop breathy kisses she shares, I figure I owe her this much at least.

Oh, and just so that you know that I do have s-o-m-e sense of balance… I chose to byline my site “Chronicles From The Edge” rather than “Diary Of A MadWoman.” Eh, the latter sounded a wee theatrical and I didn’t wanna scare the whole lot of ya off right away. 😉

We’re all a little weird and life’s a little weird.

Dr. Seuss

Today… is a good day to have a good day, my Friend. 

You are loved, held, heard, seen, holy.

So go ahead and breathe. Take a load off.

It’s only life after all.

Indigo Girls

Writing Every Day Down,

In gratitude and wonder.

Lisa xx

JOURNAL PROMPTS:

1. Take a moment to become aware of your neck and shoulders. How do they feel? Tense? Loose? If they were a color, what would that be? If they were hungry, what would they want to eat? If they were thirsty, what would they want to drink?
2. Put on a favorite song. Dance for the whole song. Be mindful of how your body is feeling… and write about it.